


Fire Inside Me

by hartwin



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drug Withdrawal, Hurt/Comfort, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:38:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4716401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hartwin/pseuds/hartwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen goes through a terrible night of withdrawal and Dorian's there to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire Inside Me

His fingers dig into the sheets that are now wrapped around most of his body, sweat glistening the Commander's shoulders and face. He lets out a pathetic whimper, his jaw tensing, sending a rush of pressure towards the front of his head which makes the man's eyes clench closed, trying to fight the agonizing pain that soars through his limbs. 

Dorian presses peppered kisses to Cullen’s forced white knuckles, trying his best to make the ex-Templar feel a little more at ease, showing him that he’s here and won’t leave, hoping that’s enough to help Cullen fight the pain that courses through his veins. Words never seem to help when it comes to Cullen; Dorian’s tried before, and it dramatically failed when the Commander demanded that he left his quarters. 

A strained noise gurgles in that back of the blonde’s throat and for a second, Cullen thinks he may vomit, the sensation of a thousand fires clawing their way up his oesophagus, making tears well at the corner of his eyes. He lets out a whimper, his head twisting into Dorian's lap as the mage runs his fingers softly through his hair, “Shh...Amatus…” Dorian whispers soothingly, his other hand dragging small faint circles over Cullen’s hand. 

There’s not much anyone can do for him, withdrawal is a hard thing for anyone to really help with; it’s not something that can be cured, it’s a painful waiting game and it can strike at any time. One moment he will be perfectly fine and then the next, it’s like all the air has been forced from his lungs, his body begins to tremble and nausea takes hold, his stomach cramps up, and finally the blackouts begin to happen and he can’t tell what's real and what’s not.  
It’s something he doesn't wish on anyone, it’s something that breaks you down until you’re pile of ash on the ground, begging to be blown away. 

“I-It hurts,” Cullen manages out, his knees drawing up to his chest, and Dorian can tell from the way Cullen’s face twists, his lips parting, revealing streaks of bloody saliva coating the man's teeth, that he’s trying his very best at dealing with this...intolerable pain. 

Cullen grits his teeth down harder, fists tightening even more on the bed sheets that are now strung around him like a snake. “You’re doing so well,” Dorian whispers, hoping words of encouragement might benefit for Cullen’s fight. The Commander lets out a small cry, his back curling inwards as excruciating pain rapidly spirals upwards towards his chest. Cullen tries his best to suck in a deep breath but fails when his teeth clamp back down, making Dorian startle against the headboard of the bed. “You’re fine...” he barely whispers, tears beginning to well in his eyes as he watches the man he loves begging for the pain and hurt to stop. 

Cullen feels a cloth drag over the top of his head, collecting the sweat that's collected at the edges of brow and if it wasn't for how tight his mouth is, he would thank the man before him but it seems any time he tries to say anything, it’s followed by a scream or a whimper. 

Soft words begin to echo round the room and it’s the first time Cullen’s properly opened his eyes in quite a while, hissing at the light that blinds his sights for a few moments. 

“Find me still searching  
For someone to lead me  
Can you guide me  
To the revolt inside me,” 

Cullens body tenses as he fights with the noises that threaten to leave his mouth, listening to the soft, delicate murmurs of Dorian who has resorted to signing to the man on the bed. Cullen’s body eases up slightly, the spasms beginning to calm as he focuses on the words Dorian hums to him, the mage’s eyes closed, fingers still dragging over the blonde’s hand. 

“Templar  
Igniting  
Fire inside me  
Maker  
Remind me-”

Cullen falls asleep soon after Dorian stops singing, returning back to pressing small open mouth kisses to Cullen’s hand, hoping to the Maker that the man won’t wake up again in the same state he was in before. “Goodnight, Amatus,” the Altus whispers before he’s closing his eyes, listening to the shallow breaths of the man he loves.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank Kullen and Ryan for going over this for me.  
> Addiction is something that hits close to home and having someone there is always important, so that's why I choose this to be my first Cullrian fic/drabble.


End file.
